A Mirror Dimly

When are the times I reflect on my sin the most? It is when I sin the "biggest". "Big" sins are defined by our culture in light of the bible and often (but not always) have more manifest consequences. It is a shame that it takes a "big" sin for me to wonder just how sinful I truly am. When I stop to consider how many times a day a thought or reaction or spoken word was simply dismissed because it was a "small" sin, I shudder to think how truly and utterly evil I am in my flesh.

I do not fully comprehend how desperate I am apart from Christ and His Holy Spirit. I do know partially how sinful I am but I do not fully know:

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face (I Corinthians 13:12).

For God to fully reveal my sin to me would be my utter destruction. Even now thinking about my sin quickens my heart and weighs down my soul. It is not the sin itself that destroys me, it is the holiness of God; for God to fully reveal our sin it necessarily follows that God must fully reveal himself.

Think about it: our sin is only counted as sin because it is measured against the standard of God himself (Psalm 51:4). Look at Isaiah's reaction to seeing God:

I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up: and the train of his robe filled the temple...And I said "Woe is me! For I am lost... (Isaiah 6:1 & 5)

Isaiah is terrified at the sight of God, and this is just a vision! It was a preview to the grand show in heaven! Consider Job's reaction:

I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes. (Job 42:5-6)

At the instant God is revealed our sin will be truly revealed and our weightless sin will crush us under the gravity of God's holiness.

But it won't crush us. At the moment God is revealed, our sin is revealed, and Christ on the cross is revealed. It is in that moment that we will simultaneously look with terror upon our sin and feel utter joy at the sight of the cross. We are not crushed by our sin because Christ was crushed by our sin. We do not fully understand the brevity of our sin and we do not fully understand the brevity of the cross.

We can only look in a mirror dimly but then...then we will see face to face.